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[backscar]

action, memes, prompts, overflows, etc

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[wizardsplain]

You know, I sincerely hope one day someone will make you eat those words. Everyone deserves the experience of loving and having that love reciprocated. Even you.

[backscar]

Even me? Have you decided to hate me today, Gale?

[wizardsplain]

Would you take less offense if I had said 'including you'?

Honestly, Astarion, I'm attempting to share my genuine hopes for your future despite your absolute disdain towards anything resembling vulnerability. Perhaps the comments and critique for my delivery could be saved for another time, if you're amenable to that.

[backscar]

Would you like to put it in our group calendar? "Gale narrates the values of love and romance to an embittered vampire".

[wizardsplain]

Consider it a free class in becoming an ex-bittered vampire with Gale of Waterdeep as your most illustrious professor.

[backscar]

And what makes you uniquely qualified?

[wizardsplain]

My charm. My boundless knowledge of subjects both of the mind and the heart. My upbeat outlook!

[backscar]

Charm?

[wizardsplain]

Must you really sound SO skeptical?

[backscar]

It's almost an obligation at this point, darling.

[wizardsplain]

Perhaps you just haven't gotten the full opportunity to witness my charisma in action. [ Yes, that's it. Just cope harder. ] I assure you, I'm more than capable of winning over even the most misanthropic of spawns.

[backscar]

I suppose you must have been doing something right, given your last entanglement. I won't say that the same would win me over, however.

[wizardsplain]

You may refer to the notches on your bedpost with such flippancy, but there's no need to relegate my relationships to mere 'entanglements'. Regardless! I've no desire to repeat the unseemly mistakes of my past. I've quite learned from those tactics.

[backscar]

Have you? What did you learn, exactly?

[wizardsplain]

[ ....... ]

Orbs are bad.

[backscar]

[ Ok. He laughed. ]

Marvellous. So should I be saying 'vampires are bad', hm?

[wizardsplain]

I wouldn't dream of telling you what to say. [ He said, you know, like a liar.] But I'd hesitate to paint every vampire with a broad brush. I've heard that, under the right circumstances, some can almost be pleasant.

[backscar]

Oh, no, that's their spawn. Vampires themselves are awful.

[wizardsplain]

Understood. Vampires, bad. Spawns, certainly tolerable. Why, I feel quite the learned academic on vampiric lore already.

[backscar]

That is, frankly, all you need to know.

[wizardsplain]

I'm not sure I quite agree. While vampires didn't exactly ignite my interest prior to our meeting, there's something about pitching one's tent a stone's throw away from a spawn that piques the academic curiosity.

[backscar]

Then ask away.

[wizardsplain]

Oh, it would be terribly uncouth to simply ask the subject of one's curiosities.

Then again, I suppose couth is a tad bit overrated! You've clearly a preference for sapient beings' blood, present company excluded. Why would a friendly neighborhood vampire not choose to subsist on squirrels?

[backscar]

It's quite simple, really. Squirrels are too small, don't taste particularly nice and are less sustaining.

[wizardsplain]

Make it ten squirrels, then. Surely that's enough to quench your thirst. Do you mean to say you'd still find the flavor profile unappetizing?